a beautiful life.

i don't want to jinx it but things are good. jimmy and i are doing great. we are living in NC in a gorgeous apartment. I'm working from home mostly, but i get to travel to NJ to see friends and family every month. i've gone to Boston and Michigan and am working on a trip to MN soon. also i'll be going to NYC for a trade show in a few weeks, that should be fun as i get to say in a gorgeousness hotel called Ink45 omg it looks so cool. jimmy is still incredibly unhappy at his job, and that sentiment bleeds over into his psyche all the time. even when he is at his happiest there is an undertone of dissatisfaction just under the surface. I'm not sure he wants it any different, he is kind of like his mother in that department. complaining gives them something to do, the drama gives them something to occupy their thoughts. i personally hate it but I've come to realize i can only work on myself. it is up to everyone else to work on THEMselves as well. mami is in bogota colombia right now, visiting her aunt and cousins. she's there with her brother, on an overdue trip of a lifetime, and i hope she is loving every second. at least appreciating it. they found a growth in her breast and when she comes back she has to have a biopsy. i'm worried but I'm keeping that worry out of my mind, I'm focusing good energy on her and sending light her way. i don't want to feed the darkness. i really hope she's ok though. I'm terrified to even fathom a life without her. or to think of her suffering thru chemo and shit. she better be ok. the cats are good. cheddar is so cuddly and sweet, we've bonded this last year since pootie left. he's mushier now, sweeter and more into being cuddled and loved. mooshie is not as cuddly, but he loves me. and he's adorable. i love my little family. i made another batch of long skirts to sell. last weekend i debuted them at a street art fair and sold one for $100 cash. a few days before THAT, lori cernack bought one from me as well. its a good feeling to sell my s tuff to people of quality. it says something about my work and their taste lol jimmy was saying that my price points were too high. but you know what? i aint no JOYCE LESLIE ok? my shit isn't for everyone I'm sorry. it just isn't. I've tried that route and i don't work that way. my stuff is limited edition designer and if you can't afford it than you just can't. I'm not at the point where I'm going to lower the quality or cost just to make mainstream shit. my focus has changed - i want to keep my day job (forever!??) and just do this fashion thing on the side. i hope it doesn't blow up because i don't want it to be bigger. i am also selling my weirdos! its so cool. one sold from AFAS before the art show even opened! NOW THATS COOL today I'm having lunch with Susie from the punk rock hair salon. not for any particular reason just to try and start a friendship. hope it goes well, she seems nice. and she is friends with cool people and i need that kind of magic in my girl gang.

i want to wear white.. from now on!

so the wedding is 51 days away and i want to white clothes for the next 51 days. thats crazy right? don't worry - i know it is i won't do it (couldn't even if i tried! my wardrobe is like all black!) but I'm just working to savor each of these last few days of being The Engaged Girl. once this is all over i'll just be another married broad.. nothing much left as big as this to celebrate for me.. well maybe kids but who even knows if that will happen. this is kinda IT for me. don't worry, i don't feel as bleak as that sounded. I'm happy and I'm looking forward to a beautiful long life with jimmy, filled with tons of cool adventures. but really - lets be honest.. this is the last time i get to be a bride. this is the last time i get to go from ENGAGED to MARRIED. even if i somehow marry again, to jimmy or someone else (NOT) i still would never be in the place i am right now. i just wish i could slow things down a bit. it seems like NOW took forever to get here and its slipping away day by day. everything is coming together nicely. my shower is coming up (BUT WHEN?) and i have a nice outfit picked out. i keep thinking i wish i had different shoes, i should have bought a new purse. but really none of that shit matters does it? i mean.. my favorite people will be there and thats really all i care about. eveyrone has been SO COOL about everything with me. its so nice. my mom especially, she has really helped me a lot. and my godmother. and my FRIENDS, oh my god my friends! stef flew up from georgia for this shower, and both will be flying up for the wedding with their families. elissa's dad died yesterday so she cant make it up here this weekend, but I'm flying down to be by her side on sunday. i feel so bad for her. poor thing. jeff was an awesome guy. i am a lucky girl. so many great women in my life banding together to give me a shower i will LOVE. i know i will love it too, its going to be SO COOL. and i get to marry the man of my dreams. jimmy is amazing, what a great guy. how'd i get so lucky? thank you universe!! xo

my dress. and other stuff!

after going this weekend to my seamstress and working on my wedding dress, i can honestly say I'm no longer that worried about it. not only is it MY design, but its really very pretty. no it isn't quite traditional but it also isn't crazy or obnoxious. my dress is unique - like me. and after months of looking online and in stores at wedding dresses, i can honestly say i haven't seen ANYHTHING like mine. not even close. the fabrics I'm using, the little details, everything just screams ME. I'm going to look beautiful in it too - it hugs all the right parts, it hides the others. i just have to finish deciding what veil to use. I'm not even going to change in between the ceremony and the party- nope! Im going to keep the same dress the whole time. THATS how much i like it! this weekend i spent some time with a friend doing crafty shit for the centerpieces. we scoured pinterest and decided the best (and really the ONLY) answer was to do a very natural centerpiece - something basic and humble but magnificent in design and form. we came up with a big log of white birch, sawed in half lengthwise, then drilled to fit the 2" pillars i bought. just imagine! a menorah of stores but not really - with pretty white candles dripping down on it. with a dusting of glitter. simple yet statement making. and CHEAP! to further bring home the natural simplicity of my vision, we painted little wooden bird cages white and made them little nests of sticks and moss to sit in. they look beautiful they really do. just gorgeous! coupled with the white linens, the white tablecloth, the little white frames, the wooden candleholders and white birdhouses, i think the tablescape will be striking, original and very pretty. simple and pretty,. understated elegance. .. which is what i was going for all along. i still don't have any decoration for the arbor outside, i'll have to think about that some more. mike stopped by to drop off the little "guest book" leaves for painting. he primed them for me and i did a beautiful job painting them in various acrylic colors (if i do say so myself). they are going to make a SPECTACULAR presentation when they are done! I'm very excited for this piece of meaningful art to come together. overall, each decision and each concept has been well thought out and planned by me. I'm not just getting caught up in the chaos of wedding planning. no. i feel as though being older and creative, i have an advantage that i may not have had a few years ago. i am wiser now, I've been to enough weddings to know what does and doesn't matter. i feel more mature now - and these simple and elegant details prove it. my guests won't be overwhelmed by bling or gaudy stuff - instead they will be enchanted by the elements all brought together to celebrate my magical day. each with its own contribution to the aesthetic and the vibe.. each perfect for who we are and the energy we are trying to create. i am getting excited. no I'm not thinner, even after doing a JUICE DIET for 2 days. and going to the gym a lot! but i am happier. and i am feeling more confident in my choices then i have in a long time. I'm going to savor these next few weeks as much as i can. the final touches, the final payments. picking out the food, the cake. receiving the RSVP cards back! doing the seating arrangements. i am looking forward to finishing my dress and smiling at myself in the mirror while wearing it.. trying to imagine what jimmy will think of it. i am going to really savor my shower, my bach party.. crafting with my mom and godmother. this is the final stretch of time, the last month and a half of being single me.. and I'm going to smell the flowers all along the way. xo

i'm not skinnier yet.

so i read my last post and i was 173 days away from my wedding and now I'm SO MUCH CLOSER and I'm still not skinny. sure, I'm a few LBS lighter but nothing much to speak of. GRRRR howeever, i've made huge strides in accomplishing stuff. lets see.. - found a place (www.lakevalhallaclub.com) - set a date - have 3 bridesmaids (black dresses, chucks) - have 8 flower girls (polka dot dresses, chucks) - a groom & 3 groomsmen (jeans & chucks) - designed my invitations with my brother (yellow henna and black polka dots!) - ordered the paper suite (invitation, rsvp, location insert card, hotel insert card) - blocked rooms off at hotel (the westin) - ordered little white baroque frames as guest favors - hand wrote "thank you" on all the tags to hang from said frames (with b/w twine!) - picked out and am about to print the flower fotos for those frames - mami bought me little bags for hotel guests (just have to fill them with stuff) - mami has her dress! - maid of honor has her dress! - we pick out rings this weekend! - discussed stuff with tom the photog! - have an appt to discuss stuff with the videographer this weekend - seeing maria tomorrow and confirming her! - about to order bridesmaid gifts..polka dot clutches with a little jewelry inside! - picked out the dj and already paid most of that off! - designed a custom art piece as our guest book! a wooden tree!! things left to do; - finalize my DRESS! (omg anxiety!!) - finalize what ties/stuff groomsmen (and groom!) will wear - send invites - seating chart - wedding program (necessary?!) - menu - table numbers - centerpieces - pick food - pick out and order cake - make flower bouquets - finalize bridemaid outfits - order veil everything is coming together nicely. im so excited! i love him so much and i cant wait to have this party and share my day with everyone i love! xo

focused!

so lately i have been trying to get fit and slim down a bit for my big day. i know its cliche but now i know WHY its so cliche to "shed for the wed(ding)".. UM HELLO theres going to be like 160 people watching ME, looking at ME, from the back, from the front, from the side, while i chew, when i cry, as i dance.. not to mention they will all likely be taking photos, not to mention said photos will be from all sorts of angles, many not flattering, and many of those photos will be posted online! unedited! of all to see!! at least my photographer can edit some but my guests probably won't!! THEY WONT! even if i beg them!

so yeah. all those eyes. all those photos. all this pressure.

but i refuse to break. I'm a strong girl and this isn't going to do me in. oh no. now its crunch time. i looked at a yearly calendar and figured out exactly how many days i have left to work out before my wedding. i only took into account weekdays (I'm not working out on weekends, I'm just not doing it) and I'm not counting the week BEFORE my wedding (nope!)... so.. .you ready?... ok... counting today (which i DID work out at the gym).. i have 173 days of gym left before i stop for a week to then get married.

173 days. well 172 now.

its a countdown.

i wonder how many of these days i will go. I'm going to try for all of them. i mean, ok if i work out, even just a little, and watch what i eat - i have to do SOME damage right? and by damage i mean losing some fat. I'm just too fat!! I'm 25 (ok FINR 30 LBS) heavier now then when i met jimmy. EWWWWW!!!

he says I'm perfect, he says he doesn't care if i lose or not. BUT I CARE. A LOT!!

so I'm on a mission. i did well yesterday - yes i broke my diet but i didn't pig out, i didn't over do it, i didn't gorge. i just ate stuff i wanted to eat and did it within reason.

this morning i busted my ass at the gym trying to undo what i did. the Super Bowl party was fun - the food was good - the people were great - and now its time to get down to business.

i am FOCUSED. nothing will deter me. I'm going to lose at least 30 LBS by the time i walk down the aisle. mark my words!!!!!

Testing 123

Just testing out this blog from my new razor phone,.....

a lovely day.

wow i haven't written here since October! such a bad girl!

here i am though, back again, and with some great news! we DID think outside the box and we DID find the most perfect place to get married at; Lake Valhalla Club in Montville NJ.

oh you should SEE it! its simply incredible. a very pretty, private country club in the mountains of new jersey. its nestled on a lake, with mountain surrounding the lake on 3 sides. we booked October 14, 2012 - so by then the autumn leaves should be fully turned and a cascading display of reds and yellows and oranges should light up the treetops. its going to be magnificent. there is a mad made beach in between the lake and the building, and an arbor - which is where we will say our vows. our guests will be seated behind us, looking out into the lake.

the outside is lovely but the inside is too. first off there is a heated tent, with iron chandeliers and a marble bar. inside the ceilings are raised high and hollow, with wooden beams pitched perfect. the large room is split in two, with huge stone and brick fireplaces on either side. white candles of varying sizes will fill each fireplace, both inside and on the mantle. iron chandeliers hang. no bling. no crystal. all understated elegance.

the dj will be upstairs looking down at all of us, out of the way and non-deafening to our guests. the food is incredible i hear - we have yet to taste it. we got excellent pricing on it, which is inclusive of everything - chairs, food, taxes, gratuity... everything. the only thing it doesn't inlude is the maitre'd fee - which is ok. he is really nice (perry) and has been doing weddings for 25 years. he is going to keep everything organized the day of the event, telling everyone what to do and where to go etc. so really, thats perfect!!!

so people arrive... they are escorted to the tent.. they get a mimosa or water or something to drink.. while i arrive. as 3pm approaches, they are ushered to their seats - overlooking the lake just outside the tent int he back of the building. i come out, walk the aisle, exchange vows with the man of my dreams, promise my human existence to him, yadda yadda yadda - boom we're married! now its a 1.5 hour cocktail hour! inside, outside, everywhere but the main reception room. tons of food (TONS.OF.FOOD).. plus a photo booth! the liquor and the picture taking should keep everyone busy while we take some photos. then its ON! we get introduced and its time to party!

towards the end of the night, about an hour or so before the reception ends... there will be a S'mores making session out on the mad made beach over the FIREPIT!! i can't wait. i think thats going to be a really beautiful time of the evening. see we picked a 3pm start because of this: when guests arrive it will be the middle of a bright sunshiny day (fingers fucking CROSSED!!!!).. then as the cocktail hour winds down and the party begins, we'll get a really nice sunset.. the sky will turn those soft, pastel colors as we watch the sun set over the mountains. once the party is underway the sky will be dark and full of bright stars. a big sky over the lake. so when everyone leaves around 8 or 9 or whatever, they will have enjoyed the scenery in all its glory. the photographs will be great too - sunshine, twilight, night. dancing, being happy, sitting by the fire together eating chocolate off a stick. um YES PLEASE!!

so we have a place and a date. those are big things. and jimmy loves the place. as do i. its exactly us. which honestly, i didn't even know until i found it. i NEVER would have EVER thought a country club was me. but it is. i wouldn't join or be a member, but to host my friends and family on that one very special, important night, its perfect. just perfect.

speaking of friends and family - OMG. my friends and family really are truly amazing. one of my closest friends Maria, has offered to officiate our nuptials. that means the world to me. when she stands up there and talks about us, and says things, they will come from her heart. she KNOWS us. she KNOWS me. she has seen our evolution, watched us grow together and fall in love. she is an ordained minister and can marry people in NY and NJ, so its perfect. and FREE. we're on such a tight budget that honestly, thats the best gift she could have given us. another friend of mine, Tom, offered to do our wedding photography for free as well. that i can't take him up on, i MUST pay him something. thats a lot of work for like 7 hours!! and i expect perfection! lol. so I'm going to pay him, but I'm going to get a humungous discount and again, with our budget, i just cannot believe what we'll get in return. he is an amazing guy - SO TALENTED, funny, fun to be around, smart. he and nick had an art gallery in asbury park, and before that worked at primal star which was a powerhouse that i shan't get into here. but their skills and their personalities are unmatched, and i can't believe how lucky i am that they will shoot MY wedding!!!!!! and today another friend, Mayra, offered her services to HANDMAKE my invitations. she is crafty and very skilled, and we think incredibly alike. we discussed the project and she said i only have to pay for supplies, but her labor would be free. OMG. its so much work i can't justify not paying her. at least SOMETHING. i mean its like 80 invitations! i can't believe this. i really do feel so blessed by the universe. is this a dream? DONT PINCH ME!!

so i've been back on my "omg I'm getting married" kick and I've been looking at flower girl dresses. lets see.. i have... aviva, michele, rebecca, amy, julie, samantha, alaina, and nadia. am i forgetting anyone? well thats 8 for sure. i started looking online and then i remembered my MOST FAVORITE, most precious, most prettiest dress that i have ever had.. i was about 6 or 7 years old and i had my gorgeous POLKA DOT DRESS. my mom got it for me and i wanted to wear it EVERYWHERE. it was like seriously, my favorite. I'm 30-something and i still get smiley when i think of it. so its only natural that my little flower girls wear polkas dot dresses! like this one:



or this one!!



imagine a bunch of pretty little girls running around wearing those dresses with THESE?? (except in black)




i DIE!!

so yeah. I'm going to work on the invitations.. figure out the feel and look i want. ill be perusing online photography for specific shots id like to get. I've already discussed my dress with my seamstress, so i haft just buy that fabric. I've decided on daisies as the flowers. ill work with my mom on centerpieces. and ill get with my soon to be mother in law about the rest of the wedding list. I'm definitely busy!!!

and still in the midst of everything, its the best year of my life. granted its only january 13th but its the first time i've ever been engaged in january. i kissed my FIANCEE on new years eve at midnight. everything is so incredible, i wish i could freeze this perfect time and put it aside, for when there is volatility in my life. for when stress and drama come, which they inevitably will, for when sadness and pain are present. i wish ti reach on the shelf and pull out TODAY. RIGHT NOW. THIS MOMENT. and feel the way i feel. like warm sunshine and cotton candy. I'm trying to savor everything, to not get wrapped up or stressed out about anything. this is a beautiful time. and on Sunday, October 14, 2012 when i marry my very best friend, it will be a LOVELY DAY.

thank you universe.

xo

getting closer!

this weekend we will be looking at our last 2 places and then picking one! i'm excited! jimmy has been so great to come with me and see these venues, ask questions, get involved. i know many guys don't do that - i'm so lucky!

so i'm thinking again about themes and ideas.. here are a few...

first off, LOOK AT THIS DRESS!!!!!!!!

outside the box.

i consider myself a creative person - deisgning clothes, interior design, painting, sketching, playing piano... jimmy is also extremely creative with his photography, woodworking, hand-on approach to life.. so i was embarrassed when HE told ME to "think outside the box" when it came to our wedding. to be honest with you, i had not thought outside the box even for a moment. the places i was looking at were all hotels, able to accomodate our guests with all the traditional amenities one would find in an every day wedding. everything was a package deal.. the biggest choice was the menu.

when i took him to look at one venue in particular i had haggled down to a reasonable price, he seemed disenchanted... when i asked him why he was so humbug he replied that it was "cookie cutter" and "just like every other wedding". i didnt see that excited sparkle in his eye.

we talked about it some more and he explained to me that he had envisioned his wedding as something more then just a regular reception at a regular hotel. he wanted something more. somethign different. something that was uniquely US. i couldnt have agreed more, and like i told you, i was embarrassed that i had not thought of that before.

but now i am.

i started looking into unusual wedding venues - everything from zoos to a sculpture park to the aquarium (which by the way, boasted a fantastic shark tank that went all around the reception room.. imagine!?). after growing more anxious and stressed out i finally figured it out: a park!

originally that had been our wish - to get married outside in a forest clearing. i thought that wasnt possible so i just started down the path of normalcy, with hotels and catering halls being called and explored. however, today someone from a state park called me back and it seems that not only is it possible to rent out a park, but its been done and its BEAUTIFUL.

they allow alcohol, they stay open late, plenty of parking, chairs and tables included.. they have a lodge house with bathrooms and modern amenities but the place overlooks a lake, in the middle of a forest!! it can accomodate up to 120 people. it might just be everything i have ever wanted. we can invite the trees :)



i am so inspired. if this works with my budget i am going to be the happiest person alive. i may have to get a wedding coordinator to help me (after all, who will set up the chairs and make things flow the day of the wedding?) but i think it will be worth it.

simplicity. nature. these would be nice for centerpieces, right?



look at this cake!!


so intimate:


lovely photo for our wall!


cool pic:


s, what do you think?? am i nuts? or do you see what i see?

let them eat cake!

today i got an email from my good friend Gillian, which had a link to the most wonderful cake photos EVER!!! here are the ones i liked, which are your favorite??



lovely!!



simple, yet very pretty.


(but with light yellow instead of baby blue)


reminds me of henna, and i LOVE henna!!


shall i go with some red butterflies????


instead of poppies, i could use DAHLIAS!!


okay what about cupcakes instead???


wow so many choices. i dont know what im going to end up with. but this is FUN!!!!

xo

well hello there!

its been a few months since i last posted so i thought it an optimal time for an update. since my last entry we have finished the refinance on the house, which was a HUGE stress lifted off Jimmy's back. THANK GOODNESS. after that happened we decided to really start getting the wedding stuff together. i also decided that im not going to let this stress me out, im going to have FUN with it and roll with the punches. after all, its the ONLY wedding i will ever plan for myself ever. so might as well make it fun!

mom gave us her list and so did mami. so we're off to a great start. im looking to have about 175 guests at this point, without anyone taking anyone off their respective lists. mom gave us 89, mami gave us 30, 32 from my job and about 30 friends. thats 181 but im betting a few people wont show, so 75 is a good number to use.

i have a list of a bunch of places i'm going to check out soon. mami is FINALLY out of the hospital and rehab and so she's now on board 100%! i love hearing her get excited about it, it makes me so happy!

jimmy says he is goign to go with me to some places so its nice that he is willing to get involved. today i chose my final color scheme for my big day and its going to be..... drum roll please... BLACK AND WHITE AND LIGHT YELLOW!!! i can see it now.

the boys will rock black chucks and i will wear these:



the girls? not totally sure yet. but the little girls might wear little white ones hee hee. omg how cute! or black ones, thats more punk rock really.

flowers? daisies. simple, cute, romantic.

centerpieces? daisies. simple. in small bunches in a glass cylander with some water. nothign fancy.

for favors i think im going with my original idea of:
and since i plan to have a photo booth there, people can leave with some photos they snapped at the wedding and a little fram to put them in! super cute right?


my dress will be white. not off white, not ivory, no. just 100% white. im going to do my makeup simple too. and my hair will be down with flowers in it. maybe some loose braids.

here are some ideas i like but havent really decided on just yet:







so thats it for now! im researching venues and i may go to a bridal show with mami! im not too keen on it right now but eventually i'd love to see what they are about! I LOVE BEING A BRIDE TO BE! but i cant wait to be a wife.

xo

some progress!

i've never been more excited about anything EVER!

so we've made some more progress. we have a budget finally! its modest but i think i can do this. we asked his mother for a list of who she'd like to invite, so once we get that we'll marry it up (hee hee) to MY mother's list, plus OUR list and see how many people we're looking at. then if need be, we'll pear it down to our MUST HAVE invitees.

so having a budget and a guest list is a big giant part of the planning. everything stems from there, and i am excited to have both those details almost completed. we even went out this weekend and bought a lockable strong box (thats also fire resistant!) so we can start stashing some cash. this is our wedding fund.

its so real! cash money in our little box, mothers making lists, talking about it more and more. lately theres been no need to even have a wedding show on - he is open to discussing details and seems genuinely excited too! i think the initial anxiety has subsided and now he's in the AWESOME HAPPY stage! hee hee

what an amazing time in my life, i must say. not only do i find the greatest guy EVERRRRR - but his family rocks, my famly ADORES him (and them!) and i get a party!! oh and a ring! like, wow. is this a dream?!?!

xo

more progress!

so, i've figured out EXACTLY how to get information out of jimmy about what he likes vs what he doesnt like (regarding the wedding). i've tried talking to him about it and just straight asking him stuff, but he isn't quite able to come right out and answer me - either he doesnt really know or he isnt in the mood to discuss the details of our day. in any case, don't worry! I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!

the trick is to watch wedding shows on tv. its brilliant! we watch them and comment on stuff and then i follow up with a question, he gives me a perfectly honest answer. SCORE!!

this weekend we spent a lot of time relaxing on our couch-island watching old movies (adventures in babysitting, ferris bueler's day off) and a marathon of FOUR WEDDINGS...




what a great show! the jist of it is 4 contestants go to eachother's wedding, score it based on overall experience, wedding dress, food, ceremony, venue and vibe. we saw indoor weddings, outdoor weddings, receptions that cost $55k and ones that cost $10k. it was 4 weddings an episode and we watched about 5 episodes! it was SO COOL!

we also watched "my fair wedding" but here's the thing.. there wa sa bride on there A LOT like me. she kinda looked like me and she even wanted the whole alice in wonderland theme like i do. oh i was about to CRY! he redid her whole theme - he took away the striped tights under her dress, he changed her dress, he did her whole venue SO NICE - complete with a black and white checkered dance floor and gorgeous tea-party cakes. oh i wanted to die! TO DIE!!!!!!


check it out:

http://www.wetv.com/my-fair-wedding/videos/my-fair-wedding-alice-in-wonderland-bride


it was as though someone just let all the air out of my balloon. jimmy said "aw dont be sad! we can do wizard of oz!".. how sweet of him but NO! i thought about this long and hard though - should i keep going with my vision or change it up? i mean obviously its not very "new" or "individual" as now im seeing more and more people doing this theme and david (the host of the show) found all these cute little details to be stupid and very non-elegant. can i afford to do an elegant version of my dream wedding? probably not.

so what to do? well i'm still evaluating that. i am thinking we may just do a color scheme instead - like black & white with ______________. yellow? red? purple? i just am not sure what i want to do yet. i feel al ittle lost with the "theme" of this right now....

however, he's agreed to step on the glass, and when i asked him if there were any catholic traditions he'd be interested in including, he told me their weren't. (i'll confirm with his mom). we also have decided NOT to have an outdoor reception - we'll have a temperature controlled INDOOR party, but hopefully an outdoor ceremony and cocktail hour.

we've also been discussing foregoing the traditional sit-down meal to be a buffet. that detail scored about 50/50 with the brides we saw on the show... 50% HATED it and thought a buffet at a wedding to be low-brow and cheap. but 50% of them thought it was an excellent idea so people only took what they wanted, loved the variety and saw it as another way to get people off their chairs and up to mingle and get food.

i like that idea. i think the sit-down dinners are nice, but we may be able to get in more variety with a buffet, plus it may be less expensive, plus people can serve themselves more or less of what they want, as opposed to each person getting only a small allocation of food. the food also stays warm in case theres any kind of delays (long speeches?) etc.

oh the show was SO GOOD. it taught us much about weddings - what to do, what not to do, small detials that make all the difference.

mind you - i've been to weddings before - MANY of them. but i've never critiqued them. ever. if i was pleasantly surprised by something - like my cousin's awesome white-gloved table service of CANDY and old scool treats, one by one, OMG best dessert service ever!! or some chocolate fountain or more cocktail-hour stations than i could count! - then i would say OMG WOW SO COOL! but i never noticed anything i DIDNT like. i never said "oh those centerpieces are so lame" or "only 2 potatoes?!".. but the brides on these shows did, so that means other people do as well.

i think its very easy to get caught up in the details and forget the real reason we are even doing this. our wedding is a celebration of us meeting, falling in love and committing the rest of our lives to one another.. thats IT. our families celebrate with us, they celebrate us finally meeting our One, they celebrate the new additions to the family, to becoming more intertwined with more people. in the end, people probably wont remember the centerpieces, or the chair covers, or if it was buffet vs a sit down meal.

so anyway - big new decisions. buffet dinner, indoor reception. breaking of the glass. oh our song will be:



its "our" song.

and i'll be walking down the aisle to:



i hadn't ever heard of that song, even though im a NIN fans. jimmy once told me that all his life he dreamed of his bride walking down the aisle to THAT song. and so, it was said... so it shall be.

yesterday marked 10 months from our first date. we've been together almost every single day since then - its amazing.

i can't wait to marry him!!!!!!!!

the universe, and us.

the thought of planning this big wedding is sooo overwhelming. i am used to planning out fashion shows and other parties and events, but this just seems SO BIG and SO IMPORTANT. we talk about it but sometimes we get a little nervous so the subject gets changed.. don't get me wrong though - we aren't nervsou about getting married AT ALL - we are nervous about planning this whole giant event for all the people in our lives! will everyone have fun? will everyone look good? will the food be spectacular? will people dance? will the energy be awesome?

we did, however, get to talking about things this weekend and we made a few more decisions. we decided not to have a rabbi or a priest do our nuptuals, instead opting for a non-denominational officiant, and even go so far as to completely omit the word G-D from the service and replace it with "the Universe".

i wonder how thats going to go over... will his family be mad? will mine? i hope not but at the end of the day we both are not religious people and really feel that this is the way to go. me personally, i really do believe in the vast power of the universe, of an omniscient, omnipotent energy that surrounds us all. but i reject the whole processed, manufactured entity that is Religion.

ANYWAY - that isnt my point. my point is that we made a big decision and thats progress! we talked about how many people to invite too, so its lookin to be about 150. and we agreed we want the ceremony and the party to be at the same place. hehe!

he sat and watched a wedding show with me, AT WILL! i didnt have to beg, i put it on and we just watched. it was "my fair wedding" and the guy on that show is AWESOME! it was fun to watch and they were in NJ!! it was so cool, giving that bride-to-be a munchkinland themed wedding (sorta). i wonder what he would do with an alice in wonderland inspiration!! oh i bet he'd go NUTS!! i went online and applied first thing this morning! fingers crossed!!!

so in thinking about religious formalities, i also got to thinking about tradition, and which (if any) i'd like to incorporate into the big day. being jewish, i do have a warm spot for some things that i'd like to see happen - breaking the glass being one of them and getting married under a chuppah being another. dancing to hava nagila? ehhh i havent really decided on that one yet. definitly no lifting us up on chairs.

so about the chuppah - i am thinking that instead of a traditional one, i would like one made of branches - incorporating flowers into it and making it very organic - as if you were walking in the woods and just happened upon it. did the fairies build it? (lol) oops i am daydreaming again. but look at these...

this is my PERFECT one - simple, natural and very pretty:


this one is AWESOME, but looks really expensive:


lovely:


so pretty:


this one is more on the traditional side:


but yeah... i do like how they frame out the "main event" - and they pay homage to my ancestry in a sublte and respectful way.

oh and about the date of the wedding - i asked jimmy - "in a perfect world, how soon would you have the wedding? next year? 2013? when?" and he said TOMORROW.

I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xo

still daydreaming :)

so jimmy and i haven't spoken much about the wedding. sure, he calls me "my future wifey" and "finace" but about the actual wedding itself - nope. its not that we don't want to - just a lot going on right now and we're kind of just enjoying being engaged. me being the girl though, well i spend a lot of time daydreaming and thinking of cool wedding stuff. no new decisions made - like i said, we haven't discussed ANYTHING. well, except what i already told you (chucks, jeans, outside).

so for now, i'm still just kinda daydreaming. which is part of the fun right? i've waited a long time for this so im trying to enjoy every moment.

just a note: i wear my engagement ring to the gym and stare at it while i work out - an added incentive to lose weight! i belong to someone now, hehe.

okay so i found some stuff that i really like. random stuff really, my brain is all over the place...

isnt this cute? im not sure what its for but i saw it on a wedding blog:


its very alice-in-wonderlandish but i dont see its purpose so moving on...

i was thinking of little baroque frames like this for placecards:


cute right? i can get them in black like above, or white like this:


OR they come in colors:




they look bigger then they are - they fit a business card, so think that small.

anyway just a thought. i like the whole scroll thing and the baroque design adds a little touch of luxury. oh but then look at THESE placecard holders:

arent they awesome?? just adorable!!!

i saw this too - it looks like maybe its part of the invitation? i dont know but i LOVE it!


cause jimmy is the peanut butter to my jelly!! :) hehe

i was browsing some photography site and came upon this photo. its the same energy that i'd like my wedding to have.. check out the beautiful trees and the outdoor vibe:


nice right? looks simple, the backdrop just the natural environment.. trees and sky and stuff.

on that same site i saw this AWESOME shot of a couple's first wedding dance - I LOVE IT! how did they do that??? i imagine a photographer hovering over the crowd suspended with a harness:


that, is RAD. i love it.

and lastly, just when i knew for sure the one thing i wanted was that frilly dress i showed you, i found this pretty simple dress and thought to myself "hey i dont hate that..its actually really nice"



so yeah, it seems nothing is for sure yet. well one thing is - that i am marrying the right man.

xo

inspirations.

so i have a few photos that i love and that inspire me. im not saying these are all definitly going to be elements in my wedding but just stuff i like. i am always inspired by SO MANY things on so many levels, so im going to tag this stuff "inspirations" so i can always refer back to them quickly.

some of the general stuff that i LOVE (in no particular order)..

alice in wonderland. stripes. mermaids. robots. unicorns. ninjas. pirates. grafitti. music. breakdancing. tiki. iron scrolls. dark art. sneakers. interesting architecture. flowers. juxtoposition. urban exploration. photography. art. books. stand up comedy. the sun. sunrises. sunsets. sunshine. the moon. the starts. the galaxy. the universe. space. scientific discoveries. oddities. family. gambling. painting. spoken word. poetry. toys. smurfs. cartoons. reeses peanut butter cups. the sound of glass breaking. cheesesteaks. romantic movies. musicals. sketching fashions. picking flowers and fruit. picnics. snowmen. snowball fights. the rain. thunder. lightning. hail. stripes. polka dots. gingham. velvet. lace. vinyl. corsets. legwarmers. ballerinas. flamenco dancers. the color pink. the color black. lavendar and lavender. spelling bees. honey bees. coffee. chocolate. new york city. amsterdam. spanish. foreign accents. costumes. singing in the shower. taking pictures of my food. cooking. baking. playing barbies with little girls. decorating. interior design. enchanted forests. fairies. elves. gnomes. dragons. pegasus. glitter and sparkles. trees. the smell of fire. the smell of bacon. the smell of cookies baking. sing-a-longs. raspeberry jelly.

ok thats it for now. i like a ton more stuff but i'd say i'm off to a good start on this.

heres some pics of wedding inspirations:

i LOVE this. i want a photo of jimmy and i just like it:


so cute! i think the chucks will make for great pictures! plus comfy for the guys!


sooo cute!!




ok not sure if my girls are gonna rock chucks too, but look how cute it looks:


awww :)



OH i am so wearing these under my dress:


i thought i made this up but it turns out other brides have done it too.. oh well, i still love the idea, even though its not that original!





Oooh look at this centerpiece! THIS is what i like, but with yellow-centered daisies!


Oooh me likey!


maybe this cake but a lot smaller?


ugh but i also LOVE cakes with black scrolls!!

or like this:

or this:


but i LOVE the idea of having a kind of "tea party" dessert table that would include cupcakes and cookies and an array of beautiful confections and pretty pastries...





UGh see? i dont know WHAT i want!!